Cultivating Joy: A Glimpse into Our Family's Daily Life
“Mama, I have so many great memories at home, I don't even know where to start!” - Courage Holliman
Introduction:
There's so much joy in our home, with such rich interaction and a playful and vibrant atmosphere in our family—it was time to share! After 10 years of focusing on our kids' growth and education, I've experienced a re-awakening desire to blog.
The kids are now ages 20 (and married), 17, 15, 14, and 11. In the quickly approaching next 10 years, they will all be on their own life's path and quite possibly with families of their own. You can bet that I'm soaking in every minute, enjoying the fruits of the last 20 years of cultivating the family life I hoped was possible. It has exceeded my expectations, but it was not automatic.
With that being said, I want to paint a picture from my perspective so you can see some of the things we've intentionally woven into the fabric of our culture. Without being specific about schedules, or trying to follow each child in what they do—because that would take all day—let me give you a peek of our family life:
1. Coffee Time
My Handsome Man and I get up at the same time and have recently aligned our exercise priorities... that's a post for another day! We get up and either walk together or join our exercise groups separately every weekday morning, after which we sit and have a cup of coffee and breakfast together. We make this time a priority! We chat about the kids, what God is doing in and through us lately, home administration, and who we're scheduling time to hang out with next.
2. Work Day
Brad heads off to work, and I start my routine at home. For years, that meant about 6 hours of homeschooling, but as they've grown, that time has lessened and is now more like 2-3 hours of checking in with them and making sure they have what they need or have their questions answered. Teaching them early to be independent kids who love learning has really paid off! This educational time usually starts at the breakfast table (yes, we eat together as much as possible at the table), where we read and discuss Scripture for everyday living and outline what the day will look like so everyone can have a plan.
While Brad works and the kids work on their learning and home responsibilities independently, I work on my home business, content creation, ministry, and home administration. I always try to take a child with me to do errands, giving us quality time to chat and strengthen heartstrings. At this point, the kids can cook, do their laundry, and clean the house, so we plan out who will contribute in which way and all share the responsibility of running a bustling home. So yes, we all work. There's fun, but everyone contributes to the whole.
3. Discipleship
In Deuteronomy 6:6-7, we're given clear times when we're to teach our kids God's ways: "6 Never forget these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Teach them to your children. Repeat them when you are at home and when you are away, when you are resting and when you are working."
So... we have God conversations with our kids at these key times throughout our day. Sometimes we chat about current events at the table and talk about the way we should view these events as Christ-followers versus how the world is responding.
We have times of intentional readings—like when we're working on a specific character trait.
We have other times when we pray for people or situations together.
Sometimes, in-depth chats come as we wash the dishes together or when someone brings up the newest meme. You never know what will trigger an amazing teachable moment, so we're ready to seize these opportunities when they arise, and our kids have learned to prioritize these kinds of conversations.
4. When it's not happy
You might be thinking, "There's no way it's always like this." You're right; it's not always rainbows and sunshine. But when there are ugly attitudes on display, our stance on God conversations doesn't change, it just adjusts to the moment. We try to look beyond the current behavior and straight to the heart of the matter. Compassion is key. What's going on in this child's (or parent's) heart right now? What fear is rearing its ugly head? How does the love of God cast out this fear?
5. Family Time
On Saturdays, when everyone is off work, we make it a point to spend quality time together. We have a big, fun breakfast and clean up together. We may have a house project once in a while, but mainly we try to get out and do something fun. Hiking, walking downtown, going to a movie, going to a sports complex, or visiting a state park for a picnic. Sometimes there's money for paid activities, but mostly we do free stuff that we all enjoy.
6. Bedtime
In the evenings, we make it a point to hang out with some or all the kids, depending on their work schedules outside the home. We may watch a show, have a reading night, or just sit and chat in the living room. We attend church once mid-week, so usually we just hug and bless everyone before they head off to bed. On those nights, we discuss the teaching from church on our car ride home. Again, normal God conversations!
7. Friendships
About once a week, one or more people from our family are out with a friend. This is planned intentionally because we know the quality of our life is only as good as the quality of our relationships. We're choosy about who we spend time with—life-giving, like-minded people who are going in the same direction or are a few steps ahead of us in different areas of life are the friends we cultivate. We understand that we all change and grow in life, and some friendships are for this season only, while others are for life. We're good with ebb and flow.
8. Honor and Respect
One of the key ingredients in our interactions at home is respect, fostered in a culture of honor. Just because our kids are still growing and learning, and are inexperienced in things, doesn't make them less-than. So, we treat them with the understanding that it's our job to teach them everything, and I mean everything. How can we expect proper behavior and maturity if we haven't first given instruction and guidance? On the other hand, the kids know they can say anything to us parents, as long as it's respectful. Many a good conversation has come out of our children challenging us in certain thoughts or long-held but outdated beliefs.
Other resources to help you get started with God Conversations at home!
Envision your own home with new eyes:
Here are a few questions to get you started with crafting your own Day with the Fam. Remember imperfect action beats inaction, get started and keep adding as you go!
Vision and Values
What core values do you want to define your family culture?
How do you envision the atmosphere and spirit in your home?
Daily Routines
What daily rituals can you establish to foster connection and growth?
How can you incorporate faith or core beliefs into your daily routine?
Nurturing Independence
In what ways can you encourage your children to become more independent?
How can you balance guidance with allowing space for self-discovery?
Communication and Learning
How can you create opportunities for open, meaningful conversations?
What educational practices can you adopt to instill a love for lifelong learning?
Handling Challenges
What strategies can help you navigate challenging moments with empathy and understanding?
How can you address family conflicts in a way that aligns with your values?
Quality Time and Togetherness
What are some fun and meaningful activities you can enjoy as a family?
How can you ensure that everyone feels included and valued during family time?
Friendships and Community
How do you choose the relationships to nurture outside your family?
What role do friendships and community play in shaping your family culture?
Respect and Honor
How do you teach respect and honor within your family dynamic?
In what ways can you model the behavior you wish to see in your children?
Conclusion:
There's so much to share! I think my future blog posts will expand on these points, and of course, anything you'd like to hear more of! Until next time, embrace the joy in your family life! Check out our store for resources designed to help you on this journey.
